It was late in the evening just before Hallowe'en. I was chatting on the phone with my daughter, and had just recited the litany of tasks tackled so far that day. It had been a demanding day in the office. I had followed up my post-work exercise class by running several errands on the way home. And, I'd invested a couple of hours getting things ready around the house to host a guest for the weekend.
As I finished giving report on my day, I heard myself say, "And I still HAVE TO carve the pumpkin before I can go to bed."
Wise offspring played back my very own words. "You HAVE TO carve the pumpkin?" I could hear the raised eyebrow in her voice. She knows how much I enjoy creating those Hallowee'en jacks.
And in that moment, I realized I'd just loaded myself down with yet another DB – a Discretionary Burden.
There are all kinds of tasks and experiences that will take a certain amount of time no matter what our frame of mind: traveling to a business engagement, attending a community meeting, visiting an elderly relative, even carving a pumpkin.
But the nature of our experience depends on whether we approach it from an overburdened sense of duty and obligation or with a lighthearted sense of joy and service.
Each task that we peg as an obligation adds to our feelings of overload. Those tasks approached in the willing spirit of service have an entirely different impact. They contribute directly to our satisfaction and a sense of purposeful engagement with the world.
ACTION: The good news is we are each in charge of our own mindset. When you feel overloaded and overwhelmed, watch your thoughts and listen to your words.
See how many tasks you turn into Discretionary Burdens as you make your way through the day. The fewer tasks you tag as DB's, the lighter your load will be.
From the e-zine, 'PAUSE '. Copyright 2008 Patricia Katz, Optimus Consulting. (877) 728-5289 or www.pauseworks.com.
Boy, am I guilty of doing this! "DBs" are my new nemesis. Thanks so much, Pat, for these wise words!
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What an enlightening post!
I never understood why, but I always hated doing laundry, and recently, I found a way to make it less of a “DB” (without knowing about DBs yet!). I do small loads often, and fold them and put them away as they come out of the dryer.
They key was changing my thinking about laundry. The task went from being a loathesome chore to a logical next step in the “what do I wear today” cycle.
This post (and Pat’s story) just opened my eyes to why this change in my thinking has worked. And, I will be applying my new way of thinking to other tasks, too!
THANKS, Lorie!
I think we could write an encyclopedia about doing laundry… (and other things like your post mentions Lorie). I TRY and do it more often so it does not become an all-day chore. I also consider myself a “caretaker” of my clothes. Keeping them tidy, and using a folding board creates less wrinkles and snagging later down the line. I feel better and laundry does not seem like a burdon anymore.
John aka OrganizingLA