- Make room for the new & useful: How can you get anything new if there is no room for it to go? And the things you use the most are harder to find and reach when clutter is in the way. The stagnant stuff is taking up space that could be for things you actually like and use.
- Say "Buh-bye" to your ex: In a divorce or breakup situation, not only can you say Good Riddance about this person you no longer you want in your life, you can help yourself with the transition by getting rid of their stuff too. It can be very therapeutic. (Please only do this if you are legally allowed to do so– no unauthorized property destruction or anything! Even though that might be fun.)
- Stop being a slave to your possessions: Is the maintenance of the item really worth the enjoyment you get from it? Dusting and polishing, replacing parts or batteries, fussing over stains, or even getting someone to look after it when you leave town… this kind of attention and time might be better used elsewhere.
- Say adios to unpleasant reminders: Even if you like the item itself, is it worth having it around if every time you look at it you think of a person or memory that is unpleasant? One of my clients finally donated the dress she wore to court for her custody hearings. Great dress, but "bad feng shui." Depending upon the item, it might feel better to give it to someone else, sell it, or donate it.
- Give "perfectly useful" items to others: The item might be "perfectly useful," but is it useful to YOU? If you are ambivalent about keeping the item, would it make you feel better to know it was released to live out its full potential by meeting someone else's needs and also helping the community? Donating it to Goodwill, for example, puts people to work! And jobs change lives. You can actually see the impact of your donations with the calculator at http://donate.goodwill.org, and find your nearest donation center too.
- Say a fond farewell: If someone has passed away or become estranged, you might have very sad feelings about that person. It's important to have special keepsakes of people who are important to you, but if you get reminded of them everywhere you look around your house, you might want to start fresh and make the place your own. I am not saying you should forget them– just to change your environment to reflect a new chapter in your life that is more about the present and future than the past. (I wrote a lot about this in my reflections on the Pixar movie, "Up!"– that is one of my personal favorite posts.)
- Simplify your decisions: Are you overwhelmed with choices? Getting clear on your favorite items– for example, in your closet– means that you'll have better visibility to things you really use and wear. Simplify your choices to save time and stress every morning! Fewer choices mean easier decisions.
Essentially, if items don't accurately represent who you are or who you want to be, you want to strongly consider parting with them and making your environment support you in your current life and goals. Keeping items from the past to remember where you've been is important, but not to the extent that it confuses the present and obscures the future.
Where are you stuck with letting go? Share in the comments!
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I have started teaching the concept of “letting go of stuff” to my 4-year-old, and it is challenging. I have him look through a stack of 12 drawings and pick his 3 favorites. He does, but not without saying “good-bye” and giving a kiss to each drawing he is tossing. Hey, whatever it takes.
Great column — thanks — can’t wait to get started!
adios to pleasant reminders: I did this. I worked in a job for 7 years that turned into a highly stressful and unpleasant place to be. When I left the company I performed a “cleansing ritual” that involved me going through my entire house and throwing out or giving away all the swag I had collected over the years such as mousepads, laptop bag, notebook holders, umbrella, coffee mugs etc…all with company logos. When I was done, I vowed to (a)not collect trinkets like that again and (b) remember the good I learned from the company and shake off the bad. It really helped me move to a more positive place for my next job.
I do a lot of shopping at Goodwill. I have purchased so many wonderful things for my house there! I found a beautifully framed alphabet poster for my toddler…it’s a lovely poster and the colors match her room exactly. Every time I look at it I am glad someone was willing to let it go so that we could enjoy it.
If you are having a hard time letting go of something that’s perfectly good, consider that it might end up in the home of someone who cherishes it!
Great column as usual, Lorie. I finally ditched a particular multi-colored T-shirt I had. Why? I was wearing it on September 11, 2001. Every time I went to put it on I remembered how horrific the news was that day and how much I cried while watching TV. Nice T, but it had to go.
After my Aunt Ruth died, I invited my sister and brother over to take whatever they wanted of her things, including her stuff stored in the barn. I also gave away her beautiful bedroom set to her niece who has suffered a devastating flood. Believe it or not, we each wanted different things of hers, so there was no squabbling about it at all! It gave me space to bring in some new furniture that better fit my family’s lifestyle.
Elizabeth, that is such a wonderful way to remember and appreciate your aunt! Thank you for the reminder.