I have written a regular column for the Connections for Women website for years now, and I just wrote this article below for their June issue— I think it's a very powerful topic, because we need both methodologies AND the right mindset to be successful with our efforts in life. I hope you like it.
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Often people are looking for a “tip” or some kind of expert trick, but my most authentic and accurate answer is to change your mindset. It’s a small step in that it doesn’t require any money or physical effort, but it’s a big step in that it’s much easier said than done.
Here are seven key beliefs you can adopt that will accelerate your progress, not just in terms of organizing, but in increasing your quality of life in general:
- It’s okay to let go. I cannot own everything, do everything, or know everything. I will be okay letting go of some things, some activities, and some knowledge. I have an abundant life, and I have Enough with a capital “E.” I have to give up some things to gain others.
- It’s okay if things are not perfect. I can relax into life and focus on what is most important to me. I am clear on what really matters, and “Good Enough” is really good enough.
- It’s okay for me to place a high value on my time. Time is absolutely my most valuable resource. I am the only one who gets to ultimately decide how to spend it, and it’s okay to be very selective and discerning. Sometimes time is worth more than money.
- It’s okay to make mistakes. I make the best decisions I can at the time with the information I have. I will move forward with my decisions and reduce the time I spend questioning them. Mistakes help me learn beneficial lessons.
- It’s okay to want the best for myself. I am fully responsible for my own life experience. I treat myself kindly, and I want to constantly improve myself, my life, my surroundings, and my relationships. Sometimes this means saying goodbye to things, people, activities, interests, and commitments that are no longer serving me.
- It’s okay if I don’t have all of the answers. I am strong and capable and can figure things out. I value learning and am a resourceful person, and I am open to being wrong.
- It’s okay that I am not good at everything. I am good at many things but not all. I can focus on my strengths and ask for help to allow others to use their strengths on my behalf.
I am basing this set of beliefs on ten years of observing and listening to clients and our Clutter Diet® online members and realizing some common limiting themes. People often hold on tightly to the opposites of these belief statements. “I’m not worth it,” or “I can’t let go,” or “I have to always do it right.” That is what I typically see holding people back, not only in their organizing projects, but ultimately in their lives, too.
Sometimes it takes a significant event or culmination of experiences to change your beliefs. My friend Joyce Bone, author of Millionaire Moms, says she had a defining moment when she resolved that in her life, there are going to be no more “NO’s,” only “HOW.” It’s that kind of determination, ownership, and resourcefulness that changes your mindset and your progress. Making some of these shifts will likely take time.
Which of these beliefs do you struggle with the most? Can you make the connection from your disorganization issues to one or two of these convictions? Share in the comments…
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Lorie, you consistently write things I want to share with my own clients. Thank you!
There is a balance in that whole concept of “good enough” and “it’s okay to make mistakes” and being perfect. The good enough mentality is great for organizing, but not everyday life.
In basic military training, one of the key fundamental concepts they instill in people is the attention to detail and doing the job right because people’s lives depend on your abiity to function. As a mom, it’s no different as I hold my children’s lives in my hands.
Someone could drop a cheeseburger on the floor at the fast food drive thru and decide, this is good enough to put in that Happy Meal. No, it’s not. What may be “good enough” for one person might be no where near the expectations of another. The “good enough” mentality has to come with a certain level of common sense. Things like that cheeseburger, it may not taste as great as what the customer expects, and it may not be priced where the customer is happy, but it can’t be giving someone food poisoning. I know it sounds obvious, but I promise you, everyone has probably eaten a cheeseburger that fell on the floor and they didn’t know it because someone else decided that was good enough for you. I don’t know if you ever had food poisoning, but when you are going through it, you aren’t too forgiving of someone’s mistake to clean their kitchen.
Also, the mind is capable of so much more than we allow it, and if you aren’t pushing yourself to run that extra mile, you will never run it.
@Michelle – obviously, food on the floor would not meet most people’s “good enough” standards. But other than when personal safety is involved, there are vast areas of our lives where it’s possible to have a “good enough” result.
It seems like all seven of these are really parts of a whole; that being, “It’s okay.” It’s okay to know that what we are doing for ourselves and others can be fine, “okay.”
It is simple and very relieving.
Thank you.
Treating myself as well as I treat others (and feeling OK about that) has been a long time struggle for me, especially after I had children.
Like a lot of women my age, I was raised to put others before myself; it was “good manners” and anything else was selfish.
I am slowly learning to value myself, and especially to remove as much negative energy as I can from my life.
Great post. Thank you.
It is hard to let go of all the projects I would like to do and don’t have time for.
This is a very good column and I will revisit it and think about it very hard. Thank you.
These principles are very straightforward. I appreciate how easy to share with another person (such as a spouse) who might also benefit from such advice!
I loved this post, but disagree with the changes in mindset entirely. Most of these are rather vague and don’t translate into changes when one is at the store or getting rid of things. There are a list of new values that I would recommend instead; I’ll be putting up a blog post shortly.
Seems like every time I decide to go ahead and get rid of something I end up needing it with in the month!
What a wonderful blog, Lorie, and what a great post this one is for me. I’ve found a warm place. I’ll be back tomorrow.
And, Vaughan, isn’t it maddening?
@ Kath, let me quote myself…
“I know it sounds obvious, but I promise you, everyone has probably eaten a cheeseburger that fell on the floor and they didn’t know it because someone else decided that was good enough for you.”
And like I said, “good enough” and the other concepts in the blog is a great mentality for organizing, but not for “quality of life.”
@ everyone…I should add, since I’ve just repeated myself, Lorie’s book has so many other good ideas in it. A life changing concept to adopt would be something more of being happy with what you have. It’s not about getting more but managing what you already have. The Clutter Diet has seriously changed my lie, and it wasn’t the “good enough” concept that did it. It was the everytime I shop, I ask myself, where will I keep it, how often will I use it, and how hard is it to clean, and most of the time, I put it back. I’ve bought that book twice now, and it’s already paid for itself. It also made a great bridal shower prize (so I guess I bought it three times).
oops… I meant to say that her book has seriously changed my “life” not “lie.”
Hi Michelle, I definitely agree that there is a time and place for doing things right. Emphatically, actually! In accounting, in driving, and with regard to cheeseburgers on floors, doing it right is important! Any of the content I have written about “Good Enough” is speaking to people who are absolutely paralyzed by the need to do everything perfectly, to the point that they have trouble making decisions or taking a first step. It’s wonderful that you don’t have this issue in your life and I am SO happy that my book has helped you so much! That is wonderful. I have done this work for 10 years now and I have had to say this same stuff to people over and over and over again… and lots of people have issues with not accepting Good Enough and moving on, so I feel the need to say it often and it resonates with many. Thank you VERY much for writing! – Lorie