Recently on a radio interview I was talking about how most of our Clutter Diet® program's members are women, even though men frequently tell me that they need help with organization too. I told the interviewer that despite how far we've come in gender equality, the perception still seems to be that, if the house is messy, the woman of the house is often the one silently judged as "not a good housekeeper." I do see that women in general feel this pressure and are more likely than men to seek help from professional organizers for their homes.
But we definitely have to appreciate how far we have come in the last 50 years— just watching Mad Men will bring that lesson home every time. I recently went to the library with my teenage sons to show them how hilarious some of the advertising is in old magazines. I used to do that for entertainment in college (my university was in a very sleepy town…) and my friends and I would laugh hysterically at some of the stuff we found. This expedition was no different! My boys and I spent hours in the library stifling our guffaws at McCall's magazines from the 30s, 40s and 50s. It is definitely that "cringe" type of humor, like when you watch David Brent or Michael Scott on The Office… because it's really not that funny if you think about it. Here are some choice examples we brought home (click on images to see them full-size):
Poor Alice– she's standing right there! And doesn't that woman on the left look like Drew Barrymore? I have some more of these and I will save them for a future post if you readers like them. Yes, they are REAL! I did not Photoshop these in any way.
Another related thing on my mind recently… on my trip to Italy there was an exhibition in a museum about "hope chests." Does anyone still do that? I did have a hope chest that my grandmother and mother started for me when I was in elementary school. They saved up Betty Crocker points from box tops and bought me place-settings of silverware and dishes for birthdays and holidays. I suppose it made me more fetching. I would love to hear your comments about this to find out if people still know what "hope chests" are. Maybe they have gone the way of the dowry.
What do you think? Do women still bear the majority of the burden of household organization and cleaning duties, or at least the perception of being judged for it? Do you think women still judge each other on their bathroom tissue? Do tell, in the comments! And if you want help getting your home organized, we offer an affordable online program that costs less than a pizza, where you get direct access to our team of organizing experts 7 days a week. The best part is that we can't see your humiliating dishpan hands.
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I never had an official hope chest but my mom did start a Christmas china set for me and save my great-grandmother’s china for me. Even though I am not married, I am enjoying these in my current apartment.
So the chest might be out of style but the idea definitely is not!
I love vintage averts. How far we’ve come eh? I’m thinking many guys these days pitch in. I know my guy does. Pretty sure it’s not 50/50 but I am not complaining.
HILARLIOUS!!! I LOVE THESE ADS! Lord only KNOWS how many times Christmas Boy has been just mortified and supremely humiliated at parties by his wife’s ragged-looking dishpan hands! LOL… I do remember the “You’re soaking in it” commercials but I was too young to understand the implication until it was explained to me. Good ol’ Marge the Manicurist! As hilarious as these ads are, on the OTHER (dishpan) hand, I do think there is something to be said for being proud of a well-run household.
As much as there was imbalance in the old days when a woman’s identity was heavily entwined with how her household was run, I think it’s swung the other way, and today running the house is often the *last* thing on the priority list, which results in family chaos. We see this with our clients daily.
Granted, running a house shouldn’t be a full-time job complete with performance anxiety, perfectionism pressure & heavy social implications. However, doing what it takes to run a home well is worthwhile work because a well-run home creates a safe, clean environment for rearing productive, independent children and a space where we can recharge and have the clarity to figure out the course of our lives.
I guess my point is that with all things, I believe the optimum lies *somewhere* in the middle. :o) Great post, Lorie!
XO,
Monica
Thanks for sharing Lorie! Here’s a link to 25 Horribly Sexist Vintage Ads (some of these are truly jaw dropping!): http://icanhasinternets.com/2010/05/25-horribly-sexist-vintage-ads/
My folks gave me a hope chest as well — I never thought of it as a ‘marriage’ item but more as my freedom box! By the time I graduated college, it contained a full set of dishes, silverwear, pot & pan set, etc. — and many of the things you mentioned (my mom used Betty Crocker coupons & my Grandmother used Green Stamps!) were used to fill it. It was the first piece of furniture in my first apartment (placing a cushion on top, it was seating as well as storage!) and had enough to equip my kitchen! It still has a place of honor in the spare bedroom as the window seat and stores the extra quilts in the summer.
My hope chest was made up of Grandma’s China, my Great Aunt’s vintage wine glasses with matching appetizer plates and some vintage linens and silverware that were from my Great Grandma AND tons of Betty Crocker Box Tops for me to select what I wanted!
As far as the toilet tissue, yes, I guess I’ve been guilty of judging someone for their choice – or at least noticing.
My mother-in-law kept her house immaculately clean, made sure to have very nice decorating, cooked scrumptious meals, etc. But her toilet tissue was cheap, thin, and rough. I could never understand that. Perhaps it’s just what she had always bought and never tried anything else. Although surely she used nicer brands when she was out somewhere else. I’m still stumped by that contradiction.
I had a hope chest which I filled with china and crystal, and assorted housewares that my mom and I found dirt cheap on clearance over the years of my teens and early twenties. When I finally moved into my own apratment there was very little I needed to buy. I didn’t wait for marriage to use the stuff though
I hope everyone reading these comments will visit that link that Ricci shared– oh my gosh! Way worse than these! Holy cow. That is hilarious but also a little sickening.
Yes, Monica, I see the same thing, that the pendulum has swung the other way all too often. Mostly, though, I encounter women with lots of guilt about things they “should” be doing that are extraneous to the basic housekeeping, like making certain things from scratch or doing more Martha-esque holiday gatherings, etc. I agree, that the optimum solutions exist somewhere in the middle. Hmm. We should discuss this with regard to politics. Gotcha. 😉
As far as the hope chests are concerned– yeah, I never had the actual chest either. I did look at the Lane chests in Seventeen magazine though. Interesting that they used to advertise in there– bet they don’t anymore. I guess the phasing out of this whole idea probably began with people not having the actual chests. LOL I think now people do stuff like this for high school graduation, which is just a great, practical idea for a person of any gender.
– Lorie
I had a “glory chest” as my mother called it (I’m Australian). I’m only 26, married at 21, so not too long ago. The actual “chest” was not a sight to behold: a big black plastic trunk! But it served it purpose of containing gathered home-making items (mostly kitchenware). To be honest, as my husband and I were both students when we married, it was such a blessing to already have all of those items already. It’s definitely something I will keep in mind to start for my own children for when they get married/move out.